Sunday, October 3, 2010


Seducing students is sumptuous, flirting with faculty is fine, but comingling with colleagues is comforting.  It was with this sentiment in mind that I attended a meeting of the Graduate Student Association, fancying a dip into my own student body.

First impressions can be deceiving.  I walked into a stuffy room with a long table where everyone looked bored and boring.  The ambiguously gay, anal retentive president was the only person talking, reading the minutes from the last meeting.  Even with my sharply honed self-entertainment skills, I started to wonder if my time was being well spent.

That changed when a latecomer to the meeting walked in, a gorgeous Asian girl.  I immediately perked up even more and tried to get her attention.  The only open chair was across the table, but there was a big open space beside me with no chair.  She set her things down next to the chair and then turned to the other table in the room to get some pizza.

I stepped across the table, behind the GSA president, and grabbed her chair.  Picking it up over my head, I stepped back and placed it beside me.  She turned around, saw that her chair had been moved, and sat down next to me.

On the meeting's agenda was the election of officers.  When it came time to choose a secretary, a fat Indian girl across the table (funny, I thought, you don't see too many fat Indians) nominated herself.  Then pretty Asian girl mentioned that she had secretarial experience.  I could tell by her accent that she is from China.  Ambiguously gay president asked if she wanted to nominate herself, but her conditioned defferentiality took over and she couldn't volunteer herself.

I leaned over.  "What's your name?  Celine?"  Straightening up I said, "I nominate Celine".  Since there were two nominees, we had a vote.  Four voted for fat Indian girl, and six voted for Celine, including me and fat Indian girl, who I high-fived.  So Celine became secretary.

After the meeting I told fat Indian girl what she did was very sweet and tried to give her a hug, but she backed away from me.  Then I tried to talk to Celine, but ambiguously gay president called her over, presumably to handle administrative business, and she ran off, and that was the last I saw of her.

The sage retires when the work is done.  That is why it lasts forever.

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